Dear Alumnus.....

(Here is the lettered response I had prepared to send to a person who approached me about our standards and practice and game conduct with the soccer team. The message this person left was left in fun, but with today's technology, I could just email it, or since this nameless person is a reader of this blog, just post it here so this person reads it. The following piece is ALL satire and should be considered fun.)
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Dear Alumnus,

I am sorry that you feel so poorly about our practice. The kids asked to wear the things they do at practice. We have alternate colors for them to wear, but they opted for their own style. It has no effect on their hustle, so therefore we do not feel the need to step in. In a couple of years, the trees will be tall enough you won't have to look.

As far as the past games, we coach our kids to play the game hard all the time until the game is over. We also have a respect for our opponents. We are content with our current stat of goals per game, as long as we win games. But, as it turns out, your teams of 1990 and 1991 did not average 7 goals per game either. The 1990 team's official record was 5-5, and you only scored 23 goals while giving up 24. The 1991 team's record was 5-7. While they scored 38 goals, they gave up 41. Just thought I would point that out for you.

Thank you.
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I came across this somewhat poor quality image of our soccer team from 1997. I was a freshmen that year and am right in the middle of the photo.


Again, please note this post is all satire.